


Always Gonna Be

by Filmsterr



Series: Life with Ruby [4]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adoption, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Apple Pie Life, Babies, Big Sisters, Communication Failure, Daddy Dean, Establish Relationship, Family Dynamics, M/M, Married Castiel/Dean Winchester, Trust Issues, White Picket Fences, dadstiel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-02-18 16:08:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13103787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Filmsterr/pseuds/Filmsterr
Summary: It was one of things he would never admit aloud, much less to Cas. But he’d worried… that when another baby came along, Cas might go forgetting about Ruby.





	Always Gonna Be

They burst through the front door of the house: Cas carrying the baby bucket with both hands, and Dean right behind him, with arms full of all the supplies they’d left in the car, waiting patiently for just this moment. It could have been just like any other day, if it weren’t for the air of celebration that surrounded them like a cloud of smoke.

They were finally all together, at home. He and Cas, Ruby, and the newest little addition to the family.

Roman. The name was Cas’ suggestion (of course) but Dean had almost immediately taken a liking to it. It brought to mind images of soldiers rippling with muscles, of gladiators and emperors and lions. It was badass and full of power, which was exactly the kind of feeling he wanted to instill his son.

“Daddy?”

Ruby was right behind them, trying to get a peek at the round little face that stared blankly up at them from the bucket. Dean thought he looked kind of like an alien, with his shriveled skin and those big globes for eyes. The cutest alien ever, but still.

Cas proceeded into the living room, where he deposited Roman onto the table and fell back onto the couch with a sigh. Dean dropped his load in the front hallway and turned his attention to Ruby. “Close the door, boo.”

She did, and then came bounding back to him, tilting her head inquisitively. “How come Roman doesn’t look like me or you?” she asked with no introduction at all.

Well. That wasn’t exactly a question Dean wasn’t expecting, but he had hoped to at least get a few more days to work on his answer. Who knew kids could be so observant? (He did. He knew that very well himself. In fact, if he’d learned anything from fatherhood, it was that his daughter picked up on every little tiny thing he did, and because of that he’d learned to be considerably more careful.)

He continued into the living room, with Ruby at his side, and plopped down next to Cas on the sofa. He already felt exhausted.

He’d love to close his eyes for second, just let his head roll back and maybe even drift off for a bit. But, as a parent, decisions like that were no longer in his hands. A fleeting thought passed through his mind, a fond farewell to any of the hard-won free time he’s come to enjoy in the past few years. Not a second later, Ruby poked him in the arm and stared at him, hard. She didn’t appreciate being left without an answer.

Dean sat up and spread his fingers over the worn fabric of his jeans and sighed. “Well, that’s because his parents don’t look like us.” Then he furrowed his brows and added, “I mean, we’re his parents, now. Daddy and me. We’re his dads, but his birth mom, she was… she...”

He spluttered to a stop. God, he sucked at this. How could he possibly have lived more than thirty years on the planet without learning how to get a damn point across?

But Ruby was unfazed. She was mostly likely used to her father’s complete inability to answer any of her questions. She approached Roman where he sat tucked up in between layers of blankets and peered in curiously before turning back around toward her fathers. “But, he looks different than he did a few days ago.”

Dean didn’t even want to attempt an answer for that, so of course he deferred to his husband.

It was still a little funny to think of Cas like that. His husband. The word tickled him pleasantly. Sometimes Dean could look around at all this, at Cas and the kids, and this two-story house with the yard and the picket-fence: it felt like he was looking in on someone else. Someone who had their shit together way more than he did.

Realizing he was the one with his shit together was an altogether jarring experience.

Castiel tore his gaze away from Roman long enough to look up at where Dean and Ruby were perched beside him. “Babies skin color changes over the first few weeks,” he explained easily, focusing on Ruby, “He’ll probably be a bit darker than he is right now.”

Dean’s thoughts drifted for a moment towards Cassie, the young woman who they’d just left at the hospital, all recovered and set to head off toward her own home. The first word that came to mind when he thought of her was _beautiful_ : she had thick, gorgeous hair, a beautiful complexion, great bone structure, even her lips were remarkable. Hell, in a different situation Dean might have been checking her out for very different reasons... but as it was, he was more than happy to have her as the mother of their baby.

They’d met Cassie, funnily enough, not through an agency or any official channels, but at one of their favorite local cafes. They’d gone there often since they moved into the new neighborhood, because Cas liked their coffee and Ruby their muffins, and Dean would happily tag along anywhere to make those two smile.

When they noticed that she was pregnant, they didn’t say anything. They’d just decided to start attempting to expand their family, and they didn’t want to talk about it and risk jinxing themselves. Everything felt too fragile, even bringing it up was too much.

But when she confessed to them, with no degree of shame, that her plan was to put the baby up for adoption, they’d decided to share their hopes with her in the chance of putting their name into the ring. Before they even had time to talk themselves down, to try and convince themselves to stay calm, she said that they were the exact kind of family she was hoping for.

And that was that. God, it felt like forever ago now, even though it had only been only a couple of months. Life had been moving fast lately, that was one thing Dean could say without a shred of doubt.

Now, Ruby was climbing up onto the couch next to her dad, reaching her fingers out toward Roman, watching his every move with such interest.

“Sometimes families don’t always look exactly alike,” Cas leaned down to tell her, staring down at the baby and then back up at Ruby. “Roman is black, and you’re white. But that doesn’t mean he’s not still your brother, right?”

Ruby didn’t respond for a few seconds, her eyes still stuck on where the tiny little baby lay in front of her. And then, without warning, her head popped right up and she loudly declared, “Nope! He’s my brother, and I’m the big sister.”

For the past few months, ever since they’d let her in on their plan, Ruby had become very attached to the idea of a big sister. She’d started asking a lot of questions about the kinds of things Big Sisters do. Every piece of clothing she walked by with the word Sister written on it, she had to have. (And, of course both Dean and Cas found that way too cute to say no to.)

She looked up at both of them and stuck out her bottom lip. “Can I hold him again?”

They instructed her to wash her hands and sit all the way back in the chair, how to put her arms out to make sure his head was supported- again, all this was coming from Cas. Dean had no idea what the appropriate level of anxiety was that he was supposed to have for a newborn baby. If left to him, he probably would have broken the poor kid in two by now.

But before Ruby could get her hands on him, Roman started to fuss and whine, and Cas decided to take him into the kitchen and try to feed him a bottle.

A whine turned into a cry, which became more and more distressed. The two fathers passed him back and forth, trying to soothe him or bring him any degree of comfort. Dean plopped Ruby in front of a movie to keep her occupied, and then hopped up the stairs two at a time to get back to where Cas and Roman were pacing back and forth in the bedroom.

Maybe he shouldn’t have been so nervous at the sounds of his son crying. It was normal, after all; he was only three days out the womb. Dean imagined if someone had taken him from the comfort of a nice, temperature controlled shell and dumped him in the harsh reality of the world, he’d be a little pissed too.

But it just drove a spike of anxiety into Dean’s spine, made him feel like he’d turn the world upside down if he had to, to make sure that his son felt alright. Newborn cries were different, more panicked than anything he’d heard before. He’d never had to go through this with Ruby.

It was Cas who finally settled the baby, of course. Dean didn’t let that get to him. He was a good dad, and he knew that now- but Cas was a wizard with babies. There was just no way around it. Add it to the never ending lists of things that guy excels at.

They placed the baby gently on top of the blanket on their bed and then they each lay on one side of him, facing each other. While Roman drifted off to sleep, his little chest rising and falling with each breath, his tiny fingers curling around nothing, the room had an indescribably peaceful feeling to it.

“He’s so tiny,” Dean whispered, soft enough to barely move the air around him, “I’m afraid I’m gonna break him.”

Castiel peaked over at him and cracked a grin before turning his gaze back down to Roman. He extended a single finger and touched the soft baby skin of Roman’s cheek.

He kept his eyes on the baby when he spoke softly. “I kind of can’t believe it when I look at him... I never thought I could love something so much.”

Dean knew exactly what he meant. It was the exact same thing he’d felt the first time he looked at Ruby. He’d expected for it to be very much the same this time around, a resurgence of an old feeling of wonder.

But, he was surprised by how different it felt now, how new. He knew how much space he had in his heart for kids. It was a lot, and up until now Ruby had got to have it all to herself.

He had imagined that they’d all have to get used to sharing that space now, splitting it evenly between Ruby and Roman. What Dean has discovered instead was that it was as if his heart had grown a whole new compartment; that instead of having to share, he’d only grown more capable of love for the family he'd created. 

What an absolute trip parenthood was. What an adventure.

Dean reached out and stroked a finger lovingly down Cas’s face, not unlike what Cas was doing to Roman. He wanted to capture this moment, to bottle it up and save it in his memory box for later. The first day of their new lives, as a new family. Whole.

“Daddies?”

They both turned their heads at the small voice coming from the doorway.

“I’m hungry.”

Dean tossed a wink as Castiel as he moved to lift himself up off the mattress. “I got this,” he said in a low voice, and then louder, to Ruby, “I’m coming, sweetheart. Do you want to give your little brother a kiss?”

“Yes!” Ruby bounded over toward the mattress and happily climbed up to take Dean’s spot. She scooted herself up next to the sleeping baby and pressed her lips gently to his pudgy cheek.

“Night night, Roman,” she said in her best, quietest indoor voice, “I love you.”

“And one for daddy too,” Cas requested, leaning forward so that she could access his cheek without getting too close to the baby.

Dean watched them from the door, arms crossed over his chest and a begrudging smile breaking out across his face. The feeling in his chest, that one that threatened to make it burst at the very seams, it was both new and old. The same old kind of gratitude he knew all too well, with a new human in the mix.

\-----

Dean had thought that parenting would be about a thousand times easier the second time around, what with their being two of them and all. He felt astounded by how wrong he was. Absolutely flabbergasted.

What he’d neglected to think of was the fact that all those months he’d missed out on in the beginning- those months when Ruby had been in the care of her mother and he’d been blissfully unaware of her existence- those months were filled with _crying_. All of them, all the time. Filled with waking up at crazy hours for feedings and changings, and sometimes Roman didn’t even seem sure why he was crying.

But it was so worth it. Every single second. When he saw how happy Cas was holding their little boy in his arms, when he got to see the proud look on Ruby’s face. And of course when he looked down at his brand new son.

Dean wondered if this might be perfect. Right now, in this moment, if this is what he would look back on when he was an old man rocking on the porch with Cas by his side and think of as the greatest moments of his life.

Except, there was just one little thing that irked him…

He couldn’t help feeling like he was being a bit irrational, or maybe it was quick to judge, or something. But the thing was… Ruby.

Well, it wasn’t Ruby. It was Cas. Or, it was the way Cas acted with Ruby now. Which was that he didn’t.

None of this is coming out right.

The thing was just, since they’d brought Roman home, the duties had been pretty much split evenly. Which was no different to how things normally were: one person cooks, the other clears. Cas did laundry, Dean mowed the lawn.

But, now that there were two kids, those duties also got split. And it just felt like most of the time, Cas was choosing Roman duty over Ruby duty.

It wasn’t all the time. And it wasn’t like Dean minded being the one who was playing with Ruby or getting her ready for bed or reading her stories. It was just… this was exactly what Dean had been afraid of.

It was one of things he would never admit aloud, much less to Cas. But he’d worried… that when another baby came along, Cas might go forgetting about Ruby.

And why not? That is, Ruby was never biologically his. He didn’t have any obligation. And, at the beginning, she hadn’t even been his kid. She’d been his boyfriend’s. So he’d been stuck on diaper duty and bottle service, with none of the benefits of getting to call her his own.

And now here’s this shiny new baby and Cas gets to hug and squeeze and know that he’ll always be able to call Roman his, right from the very first minute. It wouldn’t be totally insane to start playing favorites.

It was no good thinking like that, Dean knew. He was only going to drive himself crazy and start to resent Cas for something he wasn’t even doing, not purposefully. At least, Dean hoped not. He really hoped not.

So he tried hard to push all that out of his mind. He made a special effort to notice when Cas did something especially sweet for Ruby, and to cherish the time they spent together as a family, all four of them. This is what they had been dreaming about for so long, he and Cas; what they’d talked about the whole time they’d been discussing adoption. He’d ought to enjoy it while he had it. God only knew how fast it would all go by.

\-----

Dean and Cas each got a few weeks off from work to get settled, but eventually Dean had to go back. Cas had decided to take an extended leave, to stay home with the kids and get settled into life with the new baby for a while longer. Neither of them liked the idea of a nanny, and it made things easier for Ruby after school, too.

It pained him to admit it, but going back to the garage after all the chaos at home was something of a relief. Bobby had given him more responsibility now, ever since he’d gotten off his ass and taken those damn classes that Cas asked him to (they’d been difficult, but more than worth it. It would be great if Cas was wrong about one thing, ever.) and he knew that he ought to be stepping back in to take all that off Bobby’s hands.

And, even more, he looked forward to doing it. It gave him a sense of satisfaction he’d never thought he’d find in his work; and, to add to the pot, it finally made him feel a little more deserving of all the other good shit he had going on in his life. So yes, he was anxious to get back into the throw of things.

And so their days fell back into that space of comfortable routine. Sure, they woke up at all odd hours because of Roman’s crying and, okay, ‘free time’ wasn’t really a concept either of them were familiar with anymore. But when Dean stepped through that door at six o’clock and he walked into the kitchen, with Ruby at the table and Cas at the stove with the baby in his arms… it felt like that domestic bliss people were always talking about.

So it was surprising the day that Dean came home to find the house seemingly empty, in something of a disarray. He could hear crying in the distance. He approached the kitchen slowly, like a scene from a war movie. Loud, painful sobs rose from around the corner.

As he passed through the entryway to the kitchen, a tightness gripped in his chest.

“Ruby?” he said, looking down at where she was curled up against the bench next to the table, “What’s going on, boo?”

“Da-Da-Da,” she tried, her voice choked with tears and snot, “Daddy... yelled... at me.”

Dean sunk down onto his knees so that he was eye level with her. “Daddy yelled at you? How come?”

Ruby only lifted her shoulders minutely and sniffled again. She wasn’t looking in her father’s eyes, and for some reason this alone spurred Dean into Super Dad mode, like a papa bear primed to defend his little one.

He tucked an arm under Ruby’s little body and pulled her in close to him, placing a soothing kiss into her tufts of sandy hair. “I’m sorry, sweetie. I’m sure Daddy didn’t mean it. I’ll go talk to him right now. You come with me, okay?”

She looped her arms around his neck and allowed herself to be picked up. Dean grunted when he lifted her- she was getting a little too big for this- but it assuaged some of the unsettled feelings in his gut to be holding his baby in his arms. Just because she was eight now didn’t mean she wasn’t still his baby. Didn’t mean she didn’t still need her dad to make everything okay for her.

Dean was going to have to talk to Castiel about just that.

He mounted the stairs slowly while Ruby’s crying began to die down. He stopped at her room and deposited her in the doorway, where she stood on her own two feet, still not looking Dean in the eye. He placed a hand under her chin and raised her gaze to meet his.

“You just wait here, okay?” he told her softly. She nodded once, here eyes glassy and wide. He leaned in to kiss her nose. “I love you, boo.”

And then he raised himself to his feet and proceeded down the hall toward the baby’s room. He could hear the soft music of Roman’s lullabies traveling down the hall, and he figured there was a good chance that’s where he’d fine the other two. He opened the door slowly, with caution.

The minute Castiel saw him, he released a sound of total exasperation. “Oh, Dean,” he nearly panted, “you’re here. Thank God. I just got Roman to sleep, you wouldn’t believe the afternoon we’ve had.”

Dean nodded coolly in response. He glanced over to the crib and saw Roman sleeping peacefully, clad in a soft onesie. He treaded softly over and rested his hands along the smooth wood of the crib's edge, taking full advantage of those final few seconds to compose himself. 

Then he turned his gaze to his husband. He watched Castiel from across the room with curious eyes, saw the exhausted way he rested his head against the back of the rocking chair. A tinge of sympathy panged inside him.

Dean didn’t want to have this conversation. But he had to. For Ruby.

He coughed and took a step forward. “Hey,” he started, “I need to talk to you.”

Cas’ jaw dropped open slight, and he regarded Dean warily. There must have been something in his tone that gave him away. But still, Castiel just muttered, “Yeah, sure,” and slowly pushed himself up from the chair.

“Not in here. In our room.”

It had come out panicked, insistent. Dean almost instantly wanted to take it back, especially considering the way it made Castiel turn to him with a scrutinizing glare.

“Dean, what’s going on?” he pressed.

Dean nervously reached his hands out and laid them on the small of his husband’s back. He tried as gently as possible to push Cas out into the hallway and in the direction of their bedroom. Just before he closed the door behind them, he shouted down the hall, “Rubes? Watch your brother for a minute.”

That did nothing ease Cas’ nerves, apparently. He whipped around and regarded Dean with a new expression that combined frustration and terror. “Dean, is everything okay?”

“No, it’s not.”

He couldn’t look Cas in the eye. He focused his attention instead on the floor, specifically on the spot of carpet where it seemed Roman’s spit-up hadn’t quite been washed out. Still, he could feel Cas’ gaze burning into him, urging him on.

“Look, I get it,” Dean finally expelled after a long pause, his hands belaying his frustration, “And I’m not blaming you.”

At the furthest edge of his site, Dean saw the way Cas’ eyes sprang wide open at this, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. Dean kept his eyes on his hands decided it was better to just roll on, get it all out before he could somehow screw it up beyond repair, as per his usual efforts.

“There’s this new baby, and he’s so amazing and exciting and cute. And he’s _yours_. So I understand why you’d want to give him all your attention, but… you can’t just go forgetting about Ruby. She’s still here.”

A foot entered his field of vision and finally Dean mustered the courage to look up. His anxieties were not eased by the face he found waiting for him there. In fact, the look in Cas’ eyes struck enough fear in Dean’s heart to make him want to backpedal a bit. It never meant good things, seeing that look on his husband’s face.

But he swallowed his fear and bucked up. This was important. He had to stick up for Ruby.

“Dean.”

He flinched when he heard the way his name was spoken through clenched teeth. _Flinched_. Jesus Christ.

“I think you need to explain to me what you think you’re saying,” Cas said, low like a warning, the same voice he used often when talking to Ruby, “because I cannot imagine that it is as offensive and insulting as what I’m hearing. Are you trying to imply in some way that Ruby is _not mine_? Do you think I am somehow failing her?”

"No, that's not--" Dean leaned back against the wall. “I’m just saying it’s different this time, and I know that.”

Castiel continued to stare at him like he was just waiting for the stupid fucking thing that Dean was surely about to say-- and Dean was waiting, too. He had absolutely no confidence in himself to actually be able to get anything even close to okay out of his mouth, especially not with Cas looking at him like that.  

So he turned away. Focused on his full attention on getting this discussion the fuck over with.

“When you first started taking care of Ruby," he choked out, "she… she was just your boyfriend’s kid. You know? It’s not the same. You couldn’t tell people she was yours, you didn’t get to have her call you Daddy. You didn’t get to enjoy those little moments, like the first time she smiled or the first time she babbled something that sounded like your name.”

He felt the words leaving his mouth but his head and chest were so consumed with anxiety that he didn't register any of them. Did this shit even make sense outside his head? Was was he saying?  

“I mean you did, but not in the same way. Not… not with the security of a parent, and-- fuck, I’m so bad at this,” Dean cursed, shoving his face into his hands. He parted them just enough to speak. “I don’t know how to say this, but I’m just worried that now that we have Roman you’re not going to care about Ruby anymore.”

He found it easier to confess all this when his eyes were covered by his hands. Unfortunately, Cas wasn't planning to let him feel comfortable, that was for sure. Dean felt strong, insistent fingers wrapping around his own, pulling his hands away from his face.  

When he looked up into Castiel's eyes, just inches from his own, he found a strange combination of toughness and softness. "Are you quite finished?" he asked in a voice that somehow managed to come off as neutral. 

A slow, careful nod from Dean. "Please make me stop," he begged weakly.

The way Cas was peering down at him in that patronizing, disappointed way made Dean feel like he might know what it was like to be on the receiving end of Cas' parenting technique now. Not that this should have been anything new, Castiel's being disappointed in him. It was practically a signature move of their relationship. 

“Everything you just said," Cas' words were measured, definite, "is absolutely fucking ridiculous. Do you really think those things about me?”

Dean wished he could cover up his face again. His cheeks flushed hot under the scrutiny.

“I mean, really, Dean, you- you think that I could be so easily distracted? That I would- for some reason- become a flake even in the face of parenthood?”

“I--”

"And, by the way," Castiel seemed to be building up into anger, "when have I ever been even a little uncertain about my commitment levels? That's much more your territory than mine."

It was a fair dig and Dean wasn't going to do anything to dispute it. He was having trouble in that moment remembering why he'd started this discussion at all. 

Cas, meanwhile, walked off into the far corner of the room and turned his back to Dean. He pinched his fingers over the bridge of his nose; it made him look like  a picture of a distressed housewife from some old TV show. Dean might have laughed, might have even told him that, if they weren't in the middle of what had the potential to turn into a major argument. Instead, he waited in silence, words and ideas dying off in his throat. 

After a moment, Cas breathed out loudly through his nose. “I understand your anxiety. And I think we’re all a little on edge lately… so I’m not going to murder you right now." He crossed the floor until he was standing once more in front of Dean. "But-- hey, look at me.”

Dean listened. He felt relieved to hear that Castiel wasn't mad- or wasn't too mad, at least. Dean had seen his husband at peak rage more times than he'd like to recount during their time together.... he had no want to see it again, at that particular moment. 

“There’s one thing I need you to know, Dean," Castiel said, much more gently that he had been speaking." It- it disturbs me that you might think any differently. If you think that Ruby hasn’t been my daughter since the very first second I laid eyes on her…” Cas’ voice is imperceptibly soft. “You’re _wrong_.”

Dean's head tilted to the side. 

“Maybe it was presumptuous," shrugged Cas, "but it’s true. That first time I held her in my own hands, I just looked at her and I loved her so damn much.”

It shouldn't be at a all a surprise to Dean to hear this. Of course Cas loved Ruby. Of course he'd always been just as dedicated to raising her as Dean was. But for some inexplicable reason, as his brain calls up images of those first tumultuous weeks, of that messy apartment and the crappy way he handled things with Cas, and the total shithole his life had turned into for a brief moment there... yeah, it feels like a bit of a shock that Cas already knew that he loved Ruby like his own family.

But then, Cas always did have his shit figured out way before Dean did. 

“And I still love her. She is every bit as much as my child as Roman is, she always has been.” Cas took a step back and regarded Dean. “I don’t know where this is coming from, but I promise you that I am making every effort to show them both how much I love them.” He paused momentarily and frowned. “I’m more than a little hurt that you would have so little faith in me, Dean.”

“I trust you, I mean it,” Dean spouted, reaching both arms out to grab his husband, “you’re such an incredible father, you’re so much better than me. I don’t… I just had this thing itching at me and I guess when I saw the slightest inkling that it was true, I just jumped--” Dean cut himself off before he could do anymore damage. Instead, he turned to his husband with his humblest frown and asked, “Am I in the doghouse?” 

Cas seemed to consider this for a moment. For a long enough moment that Dean was about to fall to his knees and begin groveling before Cas finally answered him. “No, you’re not. You were just trying to be a good dad, and I can appreciate that. Though, in the future, I would like it if you could come and talk to me about these kinds of things, in lieu of tossing out wild accusations.”

Relief had never flown through Dean's entire body the way it did when Castiel took Dean's hands into his. “I will, I promise," he vowed sincerely, and he made a promise to himself that he wouldn't ever forget that. "Can you tell me what happened this afternoon?”

Cas sighed. “Roman was being extra fussy, and I was nervous he might be sick. He wouldn’t eat, he wouldn’t sleep, and maybe I was getting a little high-strung. After I picked Ruby up from school she was just being so fresh and wasn’t listening to a word I sad, and then she knocked over the table in the living room and I snapped." “It wasn’t very nice, but it also wasn’t undeserved. She was being a brat. And as her father, I get to make decisions like that. And you have to trust me.”

Never, ever, ever- for the rest of their marriage- would Dean make that same mistake again. (At least, he hoped not.)

“I do trust you,” he promised. And then, as he switched on his most tried and true puppy-dog eyes, “Can I have a kiss?”

A tortured groan arose from Castiel's throat. He rolled his eyes and then looked at Dean through a shrewd glare. “I should say no…” he declared even while leaning in to press his lips against Dean's. 

They waited a good few minutes- Cas letting Dean properly apologize, this time no words required, thank God- before they opened the door to the hallway again. Cas turned his head away, and allowed Dean to nuzzle his nose against the skin of his cheek. “I suppose we should be looking after those children we adore so much, hm?”

Dean whined, but relented. “If you say so.” The way Cas laughed felt like a salve, like something to be spread over any ailment that could make it disappear in a matter of moments.

Dean held onto his hips when Cas opened the door, and placed his mouth close to his ear to breathe out hot words. “Maybe tonight you can let me try and make it up to you?”

It had been weeks since he’d gotten a chance to touch Castiel in anything close to the way he wanted. Which was fine, or at least, it was expected, with a new baby in the house and all. That didn’t mean

Cas turned and laughed loudly again, wriggling his way effortlessly out of Dean’s grasp. “You’ll be lucky if I make it to tonight.”

He was teasing, but Dean knew there was an element of truth in it too. He was depleted of energy, they both were. Dean decided then that he was going to take any midnight or two am feedings that came along. That would be his way to make it up to Castiel.

It wasn’t nearly as fun, but it was still pretty alright in his book.

He trailed a few steps behind Castiel, walking down the hall to the nursery, but just outside the door his path was blocked. Cas had halted in the doorway. Dean peered over his shoulder to see what he was watching.

“...so you don’t have to worry at all, cus I’m always gonna be your big sister and I’m gonna be a _really_ good one.” Ruby was standing guard next to the crib, her eyes just barely at the level where she could see past the padded walls that squared him in. She was right next where his head lay, and watching her was just about the cutest damn thing Dean could even imagine. “Daddy says big sisters are supposed to take care of their little brothers, so when you get bigger you can just tell me if you’re hungry and I’ll show you where Daddies keep the cookies.”

Dean placed his head on Cas shoulder. An immense surge of pride pulsed within him. “We are too damn lucky for words.”

Castiel hummed. “I like to think we deserve a little credit for that one," nodding at Ruby, "We did put in a bit of effort.”

He thoroughly enjoyed watching the way Castiel's eyes twinkled as the words left his lips. Dean ducked underneath Castiel’s arm and swooped into the room, scooping Ruby up into the air. “Well if it isn’t the best big sister in the world.”

She yelped as she flew upwards and Dean immediately had to shush her so as not to wake Roman. He was getting down much easier now, but still no reason to risk it. 

Cas approached them, his expression soft. “I’m sorry for yelling at you before, sweetheart.”

Ruby sniffled in Dean’s arm and brushed her nose. “It’s okay, Daddy.”

Dean brushed back a bit of her hair. “Ruby,” he said her name with the kind of tone he liked to use to prevent a tantrum, “is it true that you were being fresh with Daddy earlier? That you weren’t being a very good listener?”

Her little shoulders shrugged. “I don’t know.”

“Oh, you don’t know? You don’t know?” He began to tickle her: lightly at first, and then relentlessly, until her grumpy visage faded into a smile, and then a fit of laughter she couldn’t hold back. “Yeah, that’s what I thought,” he said at last, when finally her had her right where he wanted her. “Can you say you’re sorry?”

She regarded Castiel as the last scrap of anger left her eyes. “Sorry, daddy,” she murmured, fingers coming to curl tightly around Dean's t-shirt. Castiel smiled softly at her and ran his fingers through her hair. Watching them, Dean had to remark upon how easily they both seemed to communicate what they were feeling without even speaking to each other. He was going to consider that. He could stand to learn something from those two. 

A cooing noise arose from the crib and Castiel went to inspect. “Well, look who’s awake?” he asked, pulling Roman into his arms. Dean looked to his son, marveling not for the last time at the fact that they got to bring this perfect little being into their family.  

“I’ve got an idea," he pipes up suddenly "Who's up for pizza? Bit of a peace offering.” 

Normally, whenever Dean tried to remedy a situation with food (like ice cream, for example) Cas would give him a lecture. _There were other ways to reward good behavior_ or _he was teaching her avoidance instead of facing issues head-on_. This time, he didn’t seem to have a problem. “Pizza sounds great. I am not stepping foot in that kitchen.”

But Ruby, as always, had something to say about it. “Daddies," she yelled, as if she were the only one with their head on straight, "Roman can’t eat pizza!”

Dean looked to Cas with his burrowed distinctly furrowed, playing up the role of utter confusion. “Oh, he can’t? Huh. I was gonna save him a big slice.”

“With pepperoni,” Castiel added, looking at Ruby with no hint of humor on his face. Dean had to hold back a snicker. 

“Daddies!” chastised the little girl, “Big Sister says no.”

Dean shrugged and began to walk out into the hallway. “Oh, well. If Big Sister says no,” he tossed a wink over his shoulder at Cas and Roman and nodded his head toward the stairs. "Following?"

He couldn't see Castiel's face, but he heard the smile in his words when he replied, "Always."

**Author's Note:**

> Ahhh one of my favorite series. I love this little family idea that I've created for these characters, even if it isn't my most popular. And now, with this last edition, I will miss them );


End file.
